Under the imperialist clenched fist of its political masters at Holyrood, the island has been deliberately run down while draining its natural resources for the benefit of others. It is known as Paddy’s Milestone because of its location approximately half way between Belfast and Glasgow- the route for Irish immigrants coming to Scotland. It is also sometimes known as Alasdair’s Isle - a name that has inspired me to lead the movement for Alisa Craig Independence (ACI).
It was a haven for Catholics during the Reformation and was seen as a possible staging post for a Spanish invasion to restore a Catholic Monarch. I have therefore appealed to Vatican City to become the first country in Europe to recognise the newly independent republic of Ailsa Craig. Trump Turnberry has a magnificent ocean view of the Ailsa Craig, and so I will be appealing to President Trump to add the USA to countries recognising our independence (and to use his good offices to bring Putin’s Russian on board too).
We have a bright future ahead as an independent state, with granite beneath our feet and gannets above our heads. The EU (Ireland) lies only 130 miles away to the west and Brexit Britain 10 miles ashore. As EU pressure mounts on Belgium to give up its political asylum seekers and to honour European Arrest Warrants, the Ailsa Craig is more than willing to offer sanctuary again to Catalan; Basque; Corsican; and even renegé Scottish nationalists, just as it did to Catholics back in the 16th century.