The most important document saved on my laptop is a standard letter which just cries out for the insert of a paragraph with my most recent query.
"Dear Sir,
I am writing to make an open government request for all the information to which I am entitled under the Freedom of Information Act.
(Insert request here)
I understand that under the act, I should be entitled to a response within 20 working days.
Yours etc"
"Bins to be privatised" was the headline that caught my eye in the local paper. On closer reading when I got home it seemed that the Council was planning to make budget savings by outsourcing the Council's Waste, Recycling, Catering and Cleaning Services (WRCC Services). There would be a charge levied of £20 a month, reduced to £5 if you took your own bin to a common collection point and then back after emptying. There were to be no concessions, but the Council planned to introduce a scheme of grant support to elderly and disabled residents who can persuade a neighbour to take their bins for collection. This would enable them to make a token payment to their neighbour. The scheme would be called The Nurturing Neighbourliness Fund. The Council hopes the revised service will attract some very low tenders. At first I assumed it was one of those options that councils put forward only to be ruled out as a step too far, but imagine my horror as I read that it was to be voted on at a special Council Meeting and that the SNP minority administration had secured the support of the three Tories and independent councillor Joe Malone, giving them a 16-14 majority.
I was first to take my seat on the public benches at the Council Meeting and by the time the Provost made his entry, chain dangling, there wasn't a seat to be had. The Chief Executive waffled on about how 'any adverse equality impact would be mitigated by the financial support to incentivise good neighbourliness. Social solidarity would be promoted and health benefits flow from having to push your own bins out every week'. Labour highlighted a long list of dire consequences - hundreds of missing wheelie bins; dogs rummaging through rubbish; antisocial behaviour of tenants who failed to put their bins out for weeks on end. When it came to the vote 15 hands went up for the motion. Those against saw 11 Labour and 3 independents raise their hands, and then just as the clerk was about to pass the voting numbers to the Provost, Joe Malone raised his hand. A tie at 15 all and with the Provost's casting vote supporting the status quo, the bin services stayed in-house. The flagship radical policy to balance the books was in tatters. Those in the public seats were ecstatic at this unexpected about turn. As I left I heard Joe Malone explaining to a huddle of local press he had intended to support the motion but was so impressed by the public demonstration outside as he arrived that he had changed his mind. 'That settles it', I thought - 'that can't be the reason'. I was determined to find out what had really changed his mind. I felt a warm anticipation as I placed the cursor in the gap in my standard letter and typed:
"I request all email correspondence within the last three months between Councillor Joe Malone and the Chief Executive with any direct or indirect bearing on the recent decision relating to the future of Waste, Recycling, Catering and Cleaning Services"
Nine months ago, and with the Council finely balanced, officials had been relieved when the two main parties decided not to contest the post of Chair of Licensing and had instead offered it to independent councillor, Joe Malone.
At first Councillor Malone was a picture of contented self importance as he strutted around the council corridors but soon it dawned on him just what hard work his new position was. He found himself chairing endless hearings from first thing in the morning till 5, 6 or even 7 o'clock. What really bothered him was that they ran over so much that there was barely time for more than a 20 minute lunch break. Lunchtime for Joe had been a visit to Frank's kiosk, "Pies R Us" in the Council Car Park where he would share the latest gossip with Frank before taking a couple of pies or sausage rolls back to the Council Lounge to watch the news and maybe have a bit of an afternoon nap. All this changed with his new duties. He barely had time to grab his order before he had to make it back to the Committee Room, eating on the way. Some days he was at the back of a queue of taxi drivers buying their lunch while waiting to appear at the hearings. How do I know all this? Well I too was a customer of Frank's and heard it all from him including the shocking news that brought things to a head.
It took several attempts over the following few months, and the intervention of the Information Commissioner, to eventually persuade the Council to release the emails I had requested. Here's what they revealed:
Councillor Malone to Chief Executive
"I know how relieved you were when I agreed to accept the nomination for Chair of Licensing. However, I feel you were less than frank with me about how much work it would entail. Talking of Frank, it's bad enough that I am having to eat my lunch on the move - now he tells me he is to close shop next week due to increased ground rental and a general lack of business. Unless you can give me some guarantee that "Pies R Us" isn't about to become "Pies were Us" I will have to resign."
Chief Executive to Councillor Malone
"I hope you will not do anything rash in this respect Joe. I have looked into the situation you describe and, unfortunately, as Frank's Kiosk is a private commercial concern, it is subject to market forces. My hands are tied."
Councillor Malone to Chief Executive
"It is simply not realistic to expect me to make clear rational decisions on important licensing matters on an empty stomach. Unless you can come up with a solution by return, my resignation will be on your desk first thing Monday."
Chief Executive to Councillor Malone
"I haven't mentioned this before but I did have a possible solution to this in mind but it has been overtaken by events. A few months ago I asked my Head of Catering to cost a Councillors' hot food trolley service. Pies and sausage rolls would then be available without even leaving the building. Unfortunately, I have been asked by the Council Leader to prepare a report outsourcing our Waste, Recycling, Catering and Cleaning Services. With catering in the hands of the private sector, the same commercial considerations that are forcing Frank to close his kiosk would also apply to the viability of a Councillors' Trolley. It could never pay its way and a subsidy would be out of the question so I had to bin my idea."
Councillor Malone to Chief Executive
"I think your plan for a hot food trolley is an excellent one. I would not see it as a subsidy - more an investment in improved governance and decision making.
On a completely different matter, I have been reconsidering my support for the outsourcing of WRCC Services given the public concerns expressed. I may not have given sufficient weight to the very real drawbacks of making such a radical change."
Chief Executive to Councillor Malone
"Following last week's unexpected defeat for the proposal to outsource WRCC Services I have asked my Head of Catering Services to implement my earlier plans for a Councillors' hot food trolley. I feel this is possible as a result of the economy of scale of a large service like WRCC. Furthermore, I am able to subsidise the costs from the savings on the Nurturing Neighbourliness Fund which is no longer required"
I bumped into Frank the other night, drowning his sorrows. He told me on good authority that the trolley is proving very popular, selling jumbo sausage rolls 10p cheaper than Greggs. Now that really is a scandal!
"Dear Sir, I am writing to make an open government request......"